Curvy Indian beauty soaps up her generous curves and teases herself under the water

Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. Eporner You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. Descriptive is good but you went way too far. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. Descriptive is good but you went way too far. I was not impressed by your overly-flowery style. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» Descriptive is good but you went way too far. You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. I was not impressed by your overly-flowery style. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1»